To this day, I am convinced that one of the worst things about being African-American must be having Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson as your spokesmen. Anyone wondering why needs only look at the furor being touched off by the film "Barbershop."

In the movie, one of the characters makes a number of rather politically incorrect - at least so far as African-American mythology is concerned - observations about a number of civil rights and/or African American heroes. O.J. did it, Martin Luther King was a ho, Rosa Parks got the credit because she was a member of the NAACP. And then, finally, he tops it all off with "Fuck Jesse Jackson."

Of course, everyone else in the shop tells the guy to shut up. But that's not enough for Jesse Jackson: he wants the movie shut up too. He got an apology from the folks responsible - why did they give it? - but now he wants to have the offensive parts removed from any future releases.

You can well guess my feelings on that. If Jesse can't take it, then he shouldn't go see the damn thing in the first place. But then, this is a man who's taken to shaking down people for cash and expects to be obeyed, so maybe he thinks he can demand the impossible.

So instead of doing what anyone offended by speech should do - go make more speech to counter it - he wants corporate censorship. MGM has said that they aren't going to cut out so much as a second of the "offensive" footage, but I'm wondering how long that stance might last if Jesse brings along his whole entourage: you know, the one he's threatening folks with if he doesn't get his reparations.

I think this episode is worth examining a little closer, as it exposes what we expect from our heroes, and what we expect from others in relation to them. American heroes have to be perfect, and those who would portray them, or speak of them, have to be respectful in their examinations... or else. And that goes double for African-American heroes, even when the heroes turn out to be... well... hos.

I'm really critical of those who just have to parade around - every Martin Luther King day, just like clockwork - the old charges that Rev. King was a communist. But I do so only because I'm really suspect about their motives. King was a good man who did great things for our country, and it seems to me that we ought to be spending our MLK days thinking about equality and how far we've come, rather than rehashing all the dirt just one more time. That's like spending Christmas going on about the Spanish Inquisition.

But let's face it: maybe MLK was a Communist. He might have also plagiarized his Doctoral thesis. And, if J. Edgar Hoover wasn't just making stuff up, then there's some evidence to say that he cheated on his wife, too. He wasn't perfect.

But while Rev King may not have been the most honest and true souls to be found, that doesn't matter at this point. What matters is what he did for America. Likewise, it doesn't really matter if Rosa Parks really got the credit because she had the right connections. Big deal. What matters is what happened around her because of it, and what it did for America.

It's a question of critical honesty. Can we bring ourselves to admit that, yes, our heroes aren't perfect? OJ most likely did it. Rosa wasn't the first, just the most famous. Martin Luther King was a reverend, not a saint. And Jesse Jackson has proven himself to be little more than a money-grubbing "me-too" leech hanging onto Rev King's dead skin.

That doesn't diminish what they did - except maybe O.J. and Jesse, but to hell with them - it just means that they aren't perfect. But heroes seem to have to be perfect, especially in African American society. If you speak badly of one, then you're a racist, or otherwise denigrating the whole. And if a member of the community says it, then there must be something really wrong with them.

I think that's the real source of the fury over "Barbershop": here we have a bunch of African-Americans who put this movie out and were willing to have those sentiments be aired. And it wasn't by some Archie Bunker slob, either, but by a fellow African American. That's got to be seen by some as a horrible betrayal.

Personally, I think such introspection is long overdue. And I look forward to the day that African Americans join that one character in saying "Fuck Jesse Jackson," too.

"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." - Martin Luther King